The Ribald Report

this is why we can't have nice things

my biggest culture shock from moving to walgreens is a severe lack of basic education in some of our patients. (in my first draft, i used the word “stupidity,” but decided that’s a little harsh)

my first big experience was when a patient called up and asked me to go over her directions with her. it was a relatively complicated regimen, calling for one tablet once daily on the first day and slowly increasing to three tablets three times daily. then she started asking how many she would be taking every day. she literally could not multiply beyond 1 x 3. she got so confused by 3 x 3 = 9 that she had me restart at a mid point.

but the most striking example so far was when a patient walked up and said she needed band aids but only had so much money. she pointed to the epsom salt on the counter and said that costed two dollars, and she only had five, so she couldn’t get anything very expensive. this patient could not even subtract two from five. she kept pointing to different boxes and asking if she could afford them. then when i finally pointed out the boxes that she could afford, she asked me how many were inside them. turns out this patient couldn’t even read two digit numbers!

how do these people survive?!